1994 - "Don't ask, don't tell" is passed into law and there are now homosexuals being killed for their country...they just can't tell you that they kiss boys.
September 21, 2010 - The United States Senate decides that they still don't want to ask and they don't want to be told.
December 11, 2014 - Congress passes a bill into law that it's okay to have at least one of but not limited to the following George Michael albums in army barracks: Faith, Listen Without Prejudice Volume 1, Songs from the Last Century, Twenty Five.
February 4, 2015 - Congress declares that if two female soldiers kiss then it is okay to both ask and tell.
April 19, 2018 - The army updates its policy that two consenting soldiers can engage in homosexual acts, as long as a commanding officer witnesses the event and all three sign a waiver afterwords that what occurred was "totally not gay."
October 1, 2018 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed - effective for the Navy only.
August 31, 2096 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed - effective for all other branches.
November 6, 2096 - Republicans take back office. Don't Ask, Don't Tell is put back into effect.
March 29, 3019 - The United States of America is wiped out by Mongolians....as expected.