NOTE: This is to be taken in jest, however...there is probably more truth in here than I would be comfortable to admit.
I am normally a young man with a cheery disposition (Douche-blogs aside).
But I am experiencing something right now that has turned me into a raging monster of righteous fury and incoherent screaming.
Lost is NOT online right now.
Fuck my worthless, insignificant, piss-poor excuse for a life. I don't care that I was born healthy and with all my various organs, extremities and brains intact. I don't care that I have grown up in the greatest (sort-of) country in the world. I don't care that my parents loved me and never caused me any serious physical or psychological harm. I don't care that I have received an exemplary education. I don't care that I have friends who care (or at least pretend to). I don't care that I'm even happy.
All that I care about right now is that there are millions of people around the world who have seen Lost, Episode 6X01: LA X...and I'm not one of them.
I initially intended to write a blog today about the Oscar nominations. But in my current state of abject despair I'm having hard time caring so...
10 nominations is as retarded as we thought it would be and Avatar will win everything.
There you go, there's your fucking Oscar blog.
But it doesn't matter...nothing matters. I hate my existence. I hate that I can even form a coherent thought right now because it represents my consciousness...my crushing, never-ending and ultimately disappointing consciousness.
Lost 6X01 is out there. It is out there some where and I cannot see it. I cannot even perceive it. I can download it...but it will take 2 hours to do so, by which time another site will have it streaming anyway. I can have a friend send it to me...but the wireless is down in Alden and I can only use a desktop computer.
Waiting is the only thing I can do, and I cannot do it. When every blood cell, every fleeting thought, every pore, every fiber, every twitch of your body screams out for the next fix, how can you "wait?" Waiting is for people who haven't witnessed the glory of Lost, and truth be told I now wish I could count myself among them.
The lows are always lower than the highs are higher.
If you happen to see a bearded fellow rocking back and forth on the ground in 2nd floor Alden tonight, please say a kind word and throw a blanket on him.