Yep, it is time for me to verbally masturbate The Athens News.
I get in these moods every now and then when I feel the need to laud this quality newspaper. And that mood has struck once again.
In this Monday's edition of The A-News, the paper continued what I have come to understand is a time-honored tradition: they handed out 2009 Best of Athens Reader's Choice Awards. The Athens News has been handing these out for quite some time now. I know this because many restaurants and stores I frequent in A-Town proudly display their Best of Athens *Insert Year Here* plaques. It is a very simple concept. The Athens News has readers vote, via an online poll, for their favorite bits and pieces of Athens in seven categories: Dining, Places, People, Nightlife, Commerce, Miscellaneous and Students Only. But for as simple as it is, it is equally brilliant.
Case in point: there is no way in hell I would miss this issue and leave it the news-rack. And I know there aren't many people out there who could resist picking it up either. We are shallow creatures obsessed with rankings and knowing what the "best" is. We want to know what the best movie/restaurant/town/sports team is. We want to know what aspects of life are worth our preciously brief time. Not only does The Athens News attempt to fill this ranking void for the Athens community, but it also enlists their reader's help. This way the reader's feel like they have a stake in their community and can help catalogue and record the best that this community has to offer. And, of course, there is the added bonus of restaurants, stores and businesses all over town having a plaque that reads "The Athens News" displayed in their building.
In the sacred words of those creepy cut-out guys from those Guiness beer commercials: Brilliant!
So, now that I have thoroughly convinced you that The Athens News Best of Athens Awards are the most meaningful and legitimate awards since the Oscars (which I will probably end up watching despite my pledge not to), let me take a moment to examine this year's awards a little more in-depth.
What I Liked About the 2009 Best of Athens Awards
Commerce - I even found Athens Underground fascinating and I am a heterosexual male who despises fashion. I remember seeing a Jesus action figure outside of Artifacts...excellent window display.
Miscellaneous - I will go out on a limb and say that Halloween was the best Local Event of the year, seeing as it was the only one I attended. Oh Chauncey, you are so delightfully annoying, wherever you are.
Nightlife - Who am I kidding? I have never been outside past 9:00.
Students Only - I like Kent Smith, he sends very friendly stock e-mails. I wonder if I will ever walk in on an Alden Library hook-up.
What I Didn't Like About the 2009 Best of Athens Awards
Commerce - Target is not that great and I don't think you should openly pine after one. I don't remember seeing Avalanche pizza advertisements anywhere but The Athens News...maybe that is why they won.
Miscellaneous - Ryan Dunn? I think I'm the best local media person! I don't think the media snoozed on Roderick McDavis at all, case in point.
Nightlife - Who am I kidding? I have never been outside past 9:00.
Students Only - "Hangover" beats "Sleeping in" and "Sex" for best excuse for skipping class? This campus has its priorities COMPLETELY mixed up. "My House" is not a good party spot, trust me.
Well, those are my thoughts on the Athens News awards. I hope that in the next three or four years I can get Big Mama's burritos to number one on every list and have "sleeping in" and "sex" reclaim their rightful throne over "hangover."
Only then will order be restored to the world.
1 comment:
No, no, trust me, the hangover is a supreme reason. You can make it through class without sleeping in and you can have sex after class (or before to wake you up because you didn't get enough sleep). There is no working around a hangover; it takes precedence over everything else.
Post a Comment