Bojaladamus Gives it Another Go

God, I hate the Grammys.

I know the Oscars have their faults (to say the freaking least) but at least the Oscars didn’t pick Herbie Hancock’s jazz album over Graduation last year. I really think that was the biggest “wtf” moment since Gavrilo Princip assassinated Franz Ferdinand ignited World War I.

But I am a competitive man, and regardless of how much I may hate the Grammys, I must prove to everyone that I can guess the results of the award show far better than they can.

“But Alec,” you say, “doesn’t that make you petty, weak and insecure?”
Yes, reader. It does. But it’s s all I got.

So here are my predictions for an award show that I don’t even care about. I am only predicting the four categories that encompass all music genres because A) it would be too easy to predict that Album of the Year nominee Tha Carter III will win Rap Album of the Year and B) it would be tremendously boring.

I guess that technically means that this a 1/32 Grammy prediction blog and I am okay with that. As always, nominees in BOLD are who I think is GOING TO WIN and nominees in ITALICS are who I think DESERVES TO WIN.

Record of the Year
Chasing Pavements – Adele
Viva La Vida – Coldplay
Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis
Paper Planes – M.I.A
Please Read the Letter – Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

There is no way that Grammy can’t reward the most infectious song of the year. The key word here is “Record”, meaning that this category isn’t necessarily the best song but the best audio production. Paper Planes is brilliantly produced and has all the bells and whistles that Grammy always look for.

Album of the Year
Viva La Vida – Coldplay
Tha Carter III – Lil Wayne
Year of the Gentleman – Ne-Yo
Raising Sand – Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
In Rainbows – Radiohead

If Kanye West’s Graduation couldn’t win Best Album last year than Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III cannot , I repeat CANNOT, 100,000% NOT, win Best Album this year. In Rainbows came out way too long ago and Ne-Yo is just the token R&B category. That pretty much leaves it down to Coldplay and the Robert Plant/Alison Krauss dream team. Grammy is probably dying to find the next U2 that they can shower awards on but I am not sure they are completely confident that Coldplay will be around for the next decade. They are going to give it to Robert and Alison because the older voters just can’t help themselves.

Song of the Year
American Boy – Estelle (featuring Kanye West)
Chasing Pavements – Adele
I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
Love Song – Sara Bareilles
Viva La Vida – Coldplay

Coldplay might not take home the Album of the Year but the Song of the Year category is just harmless enough that Grammy can give it to them in the name of appeasement. I am okay with that, but I think I like American Boy better if only because it features a British chick admitting that she wants in Kanye’s pants.

Best New Artist
Adele
Duffy
Jonas Brothers
Lady Antebellum
Jazmine Sulivan

Grammy has already made it fairly obvious that they are smitten with Miss Adele. She has already popped up in two of the other “big” categories. Duffy is the only other option, seeing as she is the “tamer” Amy Winehouse, but Grammy had no problem giving the real Amy Winehouse an award and will probably just find Duffy boring. I think Jonas Brothers should win, not because I like their music (or that I even know what any of their music sounds like) but because I would like to see the Grammys grow a pair and pick a controversial (re: popular) act win after the Oscars couldn’t bring themselves to do it.

Those are your winners. Call the bookies now.