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Athens, Ohio, United States
"Art and love are the same thing. It's the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you."

Monday, March 23, 2009

Blasts from the Past

I have written a lot in this blog.

Most of it is useless B.S to stroke my own ego and pad my resume, but some of it is actually pretty cool. Some of it has been predictions about the future of the entertainment industry, political arena or media business. Occasionally, I do actually have the testicular fortitude to put myself out there and call my shot a la Babe Ruth. And sometimes I am just a little ahead of the curve when it comes to certain things a la Heath Ledger's Joker (I will let you hash out all the similarities between the two).

So today I would like to look back of three entries of mine and see how the look from the perspective of the present. After all, things are always changing. Let's see if they hold up.

In this entry I imagined what Barack Obama's economic team would be like if they were an hour long drama on FOX. The thing that struck me about this entry is its timing. Say what you will about our President, but he certainly wasted no time in tackling the issue of the economy. I originally looked for this post in January and February. But it turns out, it was written all the way back in mid-November. Anyway, here is the outline for the second season of "The Economists"

The season opens on Geithner, alone in his office, holding an unseen photograph and crying silently. We then get back to the action of him trying to fix the economy. But wait, where are the other Economists? That's the twist. Over several episodes we learn through flashbacks that they all gradually quit the team. Melody left him personally when she heard of his unpaid back-taxes-controversy (Sample dialogue "Tim, we are supposed to be fight the problem....not BEING the problem!!!"). And then she makes the move to a different department professionally. Christina Romer and Larry Summers try to console Tim but he finally becomes such a mess over the loss of Melody that they are forced to go back to their day jobs. The Economists are still fighting the bad economy, but they aren't fighting it together and it is hurting them. Finally, say around episode 7 or 8, Tim's life is placed in danger by T-Rexes attacking the White House. Hundreds of lives are lost and Tim and Melody lock themselves in a broom closet to avoid the inevitable. They reconnect romantically and professionally before Christina and Larry bust through the White House doors with an elite squad of T-Rex killers and save the day.

The Economists then go back to fighting the economy together....and ultimately fail miserably.

But that's not until Season 4.

In this entry (or part of this entry at least) I dreamed of a world in which we could synthetically replicate dog or cat meat so that we could see what they taste like without actually murdering the house-cat.

Looks like my dream is slowly becoming a reality.

Synthetic meat grown in labs now exists and it is called SHMEAT. Scientists have finally begun research and application on the process of growing meat in a lab. The problem is, they are growing boring stuff like poultry and steak. Science, you are missing a golden opportunity here! People don't want to eat synthetic chickens and cows! You know why? Because people like REALY chickens and REAL cows. If synthetic meat is going to be profitable then it has to be taboo, naughty meat.

The NPR article asks who would buy this synthetic meat. I certainly long as it's dog meat.

And you can quote me on that.

And finally, we come to Borrower Beware. To my knowledge this is the first and last time I have ever written about the bailout. All the way back then it was a possibility for the auto industry to get their bailout, so that's what I wrote about. I was just trying to be a Good Samaritan and let the Auto industry know that all borrowed money comes with strings attached. 

I guess I was wrong.

AIG proved once and for all that the money DID come without strings attached. 

Their little exec-bonus "snafu" kind of proved to me what I suspected in the first place. We should have let them fail. Again, I know almost nothing about the economy.  I know that I exchange currency for a good or service and that's about as far as my understanding goes. But I do know how capitalism works...or at least I thought I did. I thought Capitalism and Democracy was Freedom: the Freedom to succeed and the Freedom to fail as well.

I don't want to get too "political" here but the whole notion of a bailout still just confuses the hell out of me.

I don't feel anger towards AIG, however. More than anything, I feel a little bit of pity. They are like having a grandparent with dementia. You can try to help them or teach them otherwise all you want, but they are still going to do bizarre, nonsensical things.

The blast from the past has now ended. We can resume making ill-fated predictions about the future and making fun of politics/journalism/FOX.

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