There Can Only Be One!

I don't know if you could tell but I have been interested in the future lately. 

And this week was like a sweet, sweet drug to my deviant mind. First, President Obama announces that stem cell research is a-okay. Then NASA sent the Kepler probe to the unexplored reaches of the Universe to look for Earth-like planets.

Now, humanity may be looking at the biggest moment of its history right in the eye.

Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer will finally settle their centuries old conflict in an awe-inspiring fight to the death. Okay, okay. It may not be humanity's defining moment, they have only been "feuding" for less than a week and "fight to the death" translates roughly to "chat."

Nontheless, tonight at 11 is the moment that we have all been waiting literally days for. I for one can't wait. And in the interest of stoking the flames, I will present you with the documents of the long-storied history of this conflict.

Whoever wins, this much is sure: the world will never be the same.