Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

You know something is going on when I whip the Bowie out.

That's right, it is time for some wholesale changes in my blogging life. The Collective(ly) Unconscious is no longer a semi-daily blog. The Collective(ly) Unconscious is now more of a whenever-I-feel-like-it-blog.

As I've said before: I originally started this blog so that I would be forced to write very frequently and in great quantity. I feel that I have accomplished this original goal of mine and that is now the time to move onto bigger and better things.

Namely: quality over quantity.

I know that I can sit in front of a laptop and crank out a lengthy or not-so-lengthy piece every day. Now, I am at a point in my life and development that I would like to grow as a writer. And, however many times I try to convince myself otherwise, writing a public essay everyday is not very conducive to growth and good writing. Let's face it: sometimes I have been lazy.

Also, I am about to be quite busy. And it would simply be too much of a pain in the ass to feel the need to compose something everyday. This quarter I am taking 19 hours of classes, working closely with Society of Professional Journalists, acting as Associate Web Editor for Backdrop and training to be an RA. And that's not even counting the job I will inevitably have to get...

So from henceforth you can expect three things from me every week.

1. A new Athena Movie Review at Backdropmag.com every Thursday

2. A new piece at Bojay's Baseball Blog every Saturday

3. A new Sunday Morning Links here every Sunday (duh)

Aside from those three things, I cannot promise there will be new material. If a see or hear something that inspires me to write or comment on, I will; and if I don't see or hear anything that inspires me to write or comment on, I won't.

The Collective(ly) Unconscious will still exist and will still continue to focus on the media, culture and entertainment as well as local issues from Athens and Twinsburg. But I will not be writing new material as diligently as I used to.

So crank up the Bowie and wipe your tears, it's Changin' time!

*UPDATE* Well, that didn't last long. I read the following in the Athens News today and just HAD to link to it. 

The strangest question and answer section in a newspaper you will ever read.

Sunday Morning Links pt. 27

As you read this I am en route to the lovely Athens, Ohio.

I don't know why but I have become increasingly comfortable with the little town every time I head back. I didn't hop onto the OU bandwagon as fast as most of my peers have. When you don't drink, smoke and despise large crowds of people, a large public University can take some getting used to.

But it appears I've had, so get ready for some LINKSSSSSS

Maybe it is because I spent a week home refreshing my batteries (sitting on the couch all day, surfing the Internet) but I seem to have found an absurd amount of links this week. Still, I will restrict it to five per usual.

- Here is an excellent Variety piece about my people: bloggers. Makes me kind of sad.

- I think this is my favorite thing I've read all week. Newsweek tells us how Compton got its groove back.

- Entertainment Weekly wonders what is so great about the Wii?

- ...And humanity has now officially lost its mind.

- ...And humanity has redeemed itself.

That's all for this week. I'm back, Athens!

Believeland pt.2

Note: Since I enjoyed the Cavs clinching the best record in franchise history so much, I am going back for seconds. My mother has secured court-side tickets through her work so I am getting to go see another Cavaliers-beatdown. In the interest of reppin' my city even more (and slacking off while I go get a haircut in preparation for my rendezvous with LeBron) I am posting an essay I wrote for the Plain Dealer's Tribe Reporter for a Day contest.

In November of 2000, as my family moved into yet another house, I was forced to ask myself a crucial question: Where is my home?

The first ten years of my life were filled with confusion and disorientation. The identities I had built up for myself were spun away along with the rotation of landscapes that served as my hometowns. I went from a young, upstate New Yorker; to a sensitive Central Ohioan, a brashly comic grade schooler from South Jersey and a quietly austere child in North New Jersey. I struggled to make connections with my peers. They were as fleeting as the sand on the shores in which I grew up.

And now here I was again, a new soul in a new place, ready to adopt yet another new identity. I was waiting for the ground to crumble beneath my feet. But this home never shook, and this home never fell. I found the perfect foundation for my life on the summer fields where fathers teach their sons memories of a simpler time, where boys become men, where there are always refreshments after the game.

Baseball seemed more familiar to me than all the homes I had ever lived in and all the friends I had ever made. The dawn of summer was glorious rebirth; the smell of fresh cut grass, a gift. I played on great teams and teams that struggled to win a game, yet every second was more intoxicating than the last! The Cleveland Indians dominated every aspect of my world. The glory days had supposedly passed, yet you would never know it if you lived in my world. My room was a red, white and blue tabernacle, with the walls adorned with paintings, pictures and portraits of players named Vizquel and Thome. I watched every game on television and fell hopelessly in love with every new player that kicked dirt off his cleats, stepped into the box and into a city’s history.

If my disillusions about home can prove one thing, it is that we all know so little for sure. The future may be bright, but it is blindingly so and there are so many possibilities. I count myself blessed to have a clear vision of my future. I live my life for baseball and I live my life to write and wrap others in my words. I understand that my home can be found in the game I love, the things I say and the passion I hold. I will be leaving the final, tangible home of my childhood to face this future in the fall to study Magazine Journalism at the E.W Scripps School of Journalism at Ohio University. I would like to be Tribe Reporter for the Day to further craft my journalistic skill, to honor this home, and this team that have given me so much and to prepare myself to find a new home in my future.

Get pumped, Cleveland!

Believeland pt.1

Note: I am writing this on a Wednesday afternoon just mere hours before I attend the Cavaliers vs. Nets game at Quicken Loans Arena. My beloved Cavs have an opportunity to clinch the best single season record of any Cleveland Cavaliers team in franchise history. 

I am writing this column today for two reasons:

1. I don't feel like writing tomorrow because I am spending all day re-working my Backdrop story.

2. If the Cavaliers survive this HUUUUUUGEEEEE jinx I am placing on them by taking it for granted that they will win tonight, then this season is truly special and they have a chance to bring a Championship home to Cleveland for the first time since 1964.

I am not from Cleveland.

I like to say I am and I like to think I am (it's called cognitive dissonance, I believe) but I have only lived here for 8 years. But I love it. I love everything about the city and all of its suburbs (except for Solon). And I think I have figured out why.

Losers are just attracted to losers.

I am a huge loser. I lack any sort of athletic talent, fashion sense or suaveness. My only two claims to fame are that I have a really hot girlfriend....and can name every baseball line-up in the MLB. And Cleveland is not so different from me. It is quite a loser as well, as so eloquently put by Charles Barkley recently. But also like me, Cleveland has two things going for it: a hot girlfriend (Halle Berry)....and the Cleveland Cavaliers.

I came soooo close to witnessing the Cleveland Indians clinch the AL Central back in 2007. There I was, sitting in Pronkville with my brother and the aforementioned hot girlfriend, waiting to witness an event that I have never witnessed before happen to a team that I love completely and unconditionally. All it took was an Indians win and a Tigers loss. The Tigers held up their end of the bargain.

Paul Byrd and the Indians didn't. 

Now here I am again, about to WITNESS history. The stakes are certainly different as the Cavs have already won the Central Division and guaranteed themselves a playoff berth, but it will still be cool to witness it.

I say it will be cool because it is going to happen. And I don't mean it will happen eventually, I mean it will happen now. Tonight. 

Cleveland used to be a city of perpetual hope and still is to some degree. It is a city of mill-workers and 9-5ers. And for the past 45 years, it has been a city of losers. But perpetual hope isn't cutting it anymore here in Cleveland. We have a team that is talented, committed and focused. And I know that they will win tonight, tomorrow and keep on winning every night until the NBA Championship trophy resides in the city by the Erie.

I am not saying this because of any skeptic belief or hope. I am saying it because I believe (probably foolishly so) that when talented, capable people all get together as a team and work hard to accomplish something, they will accomplish it.

And it will be ironic that in one of the poorest, and unluckiest cities in the country, during one of the poorest and unluckiest economies since the Great Depression that a team will prove that all it takes to succeed at something is to be good at it and to want it more than the next time.

Come on Believeland! This is our chance.

Lord knows, the Browns won't bring one home any time soon.

"(Bum Ho Lee) Just Ripped it Through the Hole!"

Say what you will about the World Baseball Classic but it may have provided us with the funniest sentence in the history of the Enlgish (and perhaps, Korean) language.

I thought it was funny when a Korean man named Bum Ho Lee stepped up to the plate into a 3-2 game in the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs and two men on-base. I giggled like an idiot and wrote "the game is up to Bum Ho Lee" to my girlfriend on Skype. Then my laughs turned to cheers as Bum Ho Lee hit the pitch through the Shortstop and Third Baseman (I was rooting wholeheartedly for Korea), tying the game and sending it to Extra Innings. 

Directly after this turn of events, the comedy Gods provided us with one of the finest moments of juvenile humor ever.

"He just ripped it through the hole!" Joe Morgan exclaimed upon viewing the replay. 

Bum Ho just ripped it through the hole? *cough* Tee hee tee hee tee hee tee hee *snort*

Unintentional comedy aside, the World Baseball Classic provided me with many awesome moments this year. I know I promised not to write about baseball on this blog anymore but my Baseball blog isn't until Saturday and I am knee-deep in my season preview. Plus, this tournament just plain rocked. So I would like to take a second to remark upon all the things I loved (and didn't love) about the 2009 WBC.

Things I liked about the 2009 World Baseball Classic

- The Netherlands beating the Dominican Republic once.

- The Netherlands beating the Dominican Republic TWICE.

- Being oh so close on my Venezuela pick.

- United States performing respectably.

- The Japanese fans.

- The Korean fans.

- The awesome jerseys.

- The satisfying conclusion.

- The U.S/Puerto Rico comeback game.

Things I didn't like about the 2009 World Baseball Classic

- The U.S fans, or lack thereof.

- The all-Asian match-up in the WORLD Baseball Classic.

- Canada being eliminated immediately.

- The ridiculous pitch count rule.

- Jake Peavy

- The rash of U.S injuries (c'mon guys, lift a dumb-bell before the game or something)

- Japan winning AGAIN.

- Daisuke Matsuzaka's winning the MVP AGAIN.

- Japan tossing their Manager in the air AGAIN.

Come on, America, you have four years to get your shit together. We need to make the Classic a series of home games for the American team next time around!

Oh, and check out Tom Verducci's excellent piece about the tournament.

Blasts from the Past

I have written a lot in this blog.

Most of it is useless B.S to stroke my own ego and pad my resume, but some of it is actually pretty cool. Some of it has been predictions about the future of the entertainment industry, political arena or media business. Occasionally, I do actually have the testicular fortitude to put myself out there and call my shot a la Babe Ruth. And sometimes I am just a little ahead of the curve when it comes to certain things a la Heath Ledger's Joker (I will let you hash out all the similarities between the two).

So today I would like to look back of three entries of mine and see how the look from the perspective of the present. After all, things are always changing. Let's see if they hold up.

1. Meet the Economists!

In this entry I imagined what Barack Obama's economic team would be like if they were an hour long drama on FOX. The thing that struck me about this entry is its timing. Say what you will about our President, but he certainly wasted no time in tackling the issue of the economy. I originally looked for this post in January and February. But it turns out, it was written all the way back in mid-November. Anyway, here is the outline for the second season of "The Economists"

The season opens on Geithner, alone in his office, holding an unseen photograph and crying silently. We then get back to the action of him trying to fix the economy. But wait, where are the other Economists? That's the twist. Over several episodes we learn through flashbacks that they all gradually quit the team. Melody left him personally when she heard of his unpaid back-taxes-controversy (Sample dialogue "Tim, we are supposed to be fight the problem....not BEING the problem!!!"). And then she makes the move to a different department professionally. Christina Romer and Larry Summers try to console Tim but he finally becomes such a mess over the loss of Melody that they are forced to go back to their day jobs. The Economists are still fighting the bad economy, but they aren't fighting it together and it is hurting them. Finally, say around episode 7 or 8, Tim's life is placed in danger by T-Rexes attacking the White House. Hundreds of lives are lost and Tim and Melody lock themselves in a broom closet to avoid the inevitable. They reconnect romantically and professionally before Christina and Larry bust through the White House doors with an elite squad of T-Rex killers and save the day.

The Economists then go back to fighting the economy together....and ultimately fail miserably.

But that's not until Season 4.

2. Synthetic Dog Steak..and Other Thoughts

In this entry (or part of this entry at least) I dreamed of a world in which we could synthetically replicate dog or cat meat so that we could see what they taste like without actually murdering the house-cat.

Looks like my dream is slowly becoming a reality.

Synthetic meat grown in labs now exists and it is called SHMEAT. Scientists have finally begun research and application on the process of growing meat in a lab. The problem is, they are growing boring stuff like poultry and steak. Science, you are missing a golden opportunity here! People don't want to eat synthetic chickens and cows! You know why? Because people like REALY chickens and REAL cows. If synthetic meat is going to be profitable then it has to be taboo, naughty meat.

The NPR article asks who would buy this synthetic meat. I certainly would...as long as it's dog meat.

And you can quote me on that.

3. Borrower Beware

And finally, we come to Borrower Beware. To my knowledge this is the first and last time I have ever written about the bailout. All the way back then it was a possibility for the auto industry to get their bailout, so that's what I wrote about. I was just trying to be a Good Samaritan and let the Auto industry know that all borrowed money comes with strings attached. 

I guess I was wrong.

AIG proved once and for all that the money DID come without strings attached. 

Their little exec-bonus "snafu" kind of proved to me what I suspected in the first place. We should have let them fail. Again, I know almost nothing about the economy.  I know that I exchange currency for a good or service and that's about as far as my understanding goes. But I do know how capitalism works...or at least I thought I did. I thought Capitalism and Democracy was Freedom: the Freedom to succeed and the Freedom to fail as well.

I don't want to get too "political" here but the whole notion of a bailout still just confuses the hell out of me.

I don't feel anger towards AIG, however. More than anything, I feel a little bit of pity. They are like having a grandparent with dementia. You can try to help them or teach them otherwise all you want, but they are still going to do bizarre, nonsensical things.

The blast from the past has now ended. We can resume making ill-fated predictions about the future and making fun of politics/journalism/FOX.

Sunday Morning Links pt. 26

Remember my panic over my COMS 103 Final grade?

Turns out I guessed what "Statement of Logical Reasoning" is correctly and I got an 89% on the Final and a 91% in the class. Looks like my appeal to the Public Speaking Gods worked. I live to fight another quarter!

Anyway, I am home now and presumably not worrying about school work at all since Winter Quarter is all but a distant memory and I am chillaxing on the lush beaches of Twinsburg, Ohio. But I still must concern myself with Backdrop-related things, i.e making the third draft of my Spring story the slightest bit coherent.

Here's one thing they didn't tell me when it come time to pick a Sequence in the Journalism school: magazine journalism is hard as hell.

It is a lot better to read than standard print Journalism but it is also a hell of a lot harder to write. So I am going to put up the Links now and go back to procrastinating. I figure the more I procrastinate, the more I will be ready when the time comes to write.

Warped logic, I know.

- The future of print Journalism has finally begun. We have been hearing about its death for a long time but it is weird to see the first newspaper go completely digital. It is kind of like the Terminator series. We have heard about Judgement Day since the first installment in the '80s, now it is going to be weird to actually see Judgement Day in the new one this summer.

- Classy move, W., classy move.

- This whole ordeal really hammered home to me how bizarre it must be to be President. Imagine everything you say having an effect on every one else in the country.

- This is just too perfect. I bet you wouldn't believe who is coming to the defense of Jim Cramer. Yes, it turns out that the last person whose career Jon Stewart ended is still a little upset with Jonny Stew.

- And finally: this has been my favorite news story of the past week. We all now have the chance to beat the President at something.

That's all for this week. Enjoy the end of the World Baseball Classic. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Mailing it in Week pt. 4-Dr. Mario's Revenge

Well, here we are at the end of Mailing it in Week.

Technically, this could be considered the end of Mailing it in Week since all my finals are done and I am sitting in my bed in the luxurious Twinsburg, Ohio. But I am going to finish what I started.

To be fair, my schedule for today is busy enough that I can "Mail it in" without fear of my conscience attacking me. Tonight I am going to watch a play that my brother directed. I completely forgot about this so it was a pleasant surprise like finding a ten dollar bill in your pocket....or finding Jimmy Hoffa's preserved remains in the walk-in freezer at the Outback Steakhouse in Odessa, But before that, I am going to inevitably have to pay a visit to Dr. Brad, my family physician.

First, I am going to need to apologize to him for shunning his sage advice. But after the grovelling is over I am going to have to kindly request that he give me antibiotics, steroids and crystal-meth. My throat hurts, you see and I am starting to feel a little woozy. I am fairly certain I have strep throat....or at least herpes. Either way, I am going to demand that my shaman take the pain away or put me out of my misery. I am okay with either option.

But before all that nonsense goes down, there is one last bit of business to attend to. My first dentist appointment in over a year is today. Now, I once heard that more people are afraid of dentists than they are of death. I have never understood this fear but I think I might now. When my dentist sees that my teeth are more cavity than they are dental tissue, he might just drop kick my esophagus while I sit in the chair with my mouth open.

This may be my very last blog entry if my dentist does, in fact, kill me. So I would like to give a shout out to something that I never have before in almost 140 posts. My dentist's name is Dr. Mario (no joke). That got me thinking that video games have been a pretty integral part of my generation's culture. I have been masquerading as an entertainment and culture blog for the past 5 or 6 months and it is absolutely inexcusably that I have never ONCE mentioned any video games that I enjoy.

So, I attempted to make an exhaustive and complete list of every video game I have played and truly enjoyed in my life. Here is the list as it stands right now but I will probably add more later as I remember them. 

Donkey Kong Country Series

Backyard Baseball Series

MVP Baseball Series

Worms Armageddon

Goldeneye

Pokemon Series

Final Fantasy Tactics

Madden Football Series

World of Warcraft

Halo Series

Fable Series

Super Smash Brothers Series

Time Splitters 2

Mario Kart

Super Monkey Ball 2

I would love to hear your feedback on how much of an idiot or "noob" I am. That will give me something to look forward to while I am getting choked to death by Dr. Mario.

Mailing it In Week pt. 3 - An Offering to the COMS 103 Gods

In light of my potential failure in COMS 103. I would like make an offering to the Gods of Public Speaking so that they may guide my grade to success. Here, without revision, is my Speech of Introduction that I gave just a week ago in Public Speaking.

 Good afternoon! I would like to welcome everyone once again to the International Conference of Villains. Wasn’t that just a dynamite speech on bad parenting by Darth Vader? Let’s give him another round of applause. Anyway, I am Alec Bojalad, your host for today’s conference and today I have the wonderful honor of introducing our next guest speaker. This man….or monster has given so much to the Villain Community and we are truly in his debt.

Lord Voldemort. Even his very name strikes fear into all our hearts. Born Tom Marvolo Riddle to Tom Riddle Sr. and Merope Gaunt on New Year’s Eve 1926, Voldemort became one of our finest Villains at a young age. He tormented and terrorized his peers for eleven years at Wool’s Orphanage before being granted admission to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland. At Hogwarts, he quickly earned distinction as one of the most intelligent and capable young warlocks in the school’s history. Upon leaving school, he shed his name Tom Riddle in favor of a more ominous moniker “Lord Voldemort.” He spent years delving into the Dark Arts of magic, changing his physical appearance to that of a serpent and just became an all around douche bag. Now he is so evil, the International Wizarding Communtiy is afraid to even utter his name.

We are all surely aware of Voldemort’s many contributions towards the cause of Villainy. But they all bear repeating. Voldemort has started not one, but two English Wizarding Wars against him. Upon the second War, he was even able to infiltrate the government to better further execute his Villainy. And perhaps no one has done more to advance the cause of Intolerance since the Pharaohs than Lord Voldemort. Voldemort is intolerant and hateful to a fault. He has dedicated his whole life and all his power to subjugating people of inferior magical lineage, whom he refers to as Mudbloods. This unyielding dedication to intolerance is an inspiration to us all. But that’s not all he has done to advance the cause of Villainy. Some of Voldemort’s accomplishments include but are not limited to: torture, thought control, necromancy, attempted genocide, patricide, excessive pride, fraud, slavery and hundreds of murders.

Today, Voldemort will speak to us about how to be a better Villain and how to prevail in the face of annoying “Heroes” who will always try to get in the way and prevent our global domination. Ladies, gentleman and Villains please join me in welcoming our next speaker: the terrifying, the powerful and the truly evil, Lord Voldemort.

Ironically, the person who I introduced looked like Harry Potter.

Mailing it In Week pt. 2 - Livin' on a Logical Reasoning Prayer

You what sucks about Finals?

They suck. That is called Post Hoc reasoning....or Circular reasoning. Either way, I am screwed because that is part of the material I was supposed to study for my Public Speaking final today. The Final just concluded about 20 minutes ago and I have already begun my prayers. 

Don't get me wrong, I did study....I just happened to study the wrong things. About 50% of the final was standard short answer/fill-in-the-blank fare. I feel fine about that. I know for a fact that I only missed 4 of a possible 52 points. No big deal. The other 50% is a little trickier, however. We had to construct a full speech outline. And is that wasn't hard enough, there are four to five different ways of constructing a speech outline and we had to study all four or five of them because the test would specify which way we had to use. I dutifully studied like I was supposed to. See, I'll show you. The four types of Informative Speech patterns are: Topical Sequence Pattern, Time Sequence Pattern, Spatial Pattern, Cause/Effect Pattern.

So, of course, I sit down to take the test today and find out that we are doing Persuasive speeches, not Informative speeches.

I didn't study Persuasive Speeches.

My grad-student professor did tell us that Persuasive Speeches would be what was on the test. But for some reason, God knows why, I thought that Informative Speeches and Persuasive Speeches had the same patterns. To make a long story short: it turns out that is not the case.

I had to construct an outline on a given topic in a "Statement of Logical Reasoning" Pattern. I have no idea what a "Statement of Logical Reasoning" Pattern is. Well....as a lifelong English speaker I felt like there was a thing or two I could glean from the wording. I made a STATEMENT and then followed it with some LOGICAL REASONS. Who knows? Maybe that's all it takes. But still, I would hate to think that a life-time of Public Speaking training came down to my own interpretation of three words. 

And make no mistake, this has been a life-time of training. I have been speaking in front of people for a while now. There was my sparse theater experience (they're not as fun to say when they are someone else's words), then came the speeches to the congregation at church, then came the High School Speech class with Mr. Popovich and then there was the Commencement speech at graduation. Now all that "experience" comes down to what is essentially a coin flip.

If I guessed correctly on what "Statement of Logical Reasoning" means, then I get an A on the test, an A in the class and everyone is happy (except for those who hate me). If I didn't guess correctly on what "Statement of Logical Reasoning" means, then I get an F on the test, a D or C in the class and no one is happy.

I swore to myself that I would never do this on my blog but...

Mailing it In Week pt. 1 - Bloodsucking Follow-up

Welcome to Part One of the Collective(ly) Unconscious Finals Week....otherwise known as the "Mailing it In Week."

Today I would like to re-visit something that I wrote about last year but have a whole new perspective on now. When I was blogging about the cultural trends and art forms from 2008, I wrote about our renewed obsession with the Vampire. Back then, I was trying to get to the bottom of our fascination with the fanged creatures of the night, but I had not yet seen two of the things I was writing about. Now I have seen 3/4 of True Blood and have watched Let the Right One In.

Back then, I cold only write about cultural perspectives and other boring things. But now that I have seen all three major pieces of Vampiric entertainment from 2008, I can write about what I really wanted to in the first place: the best vampires from 2008. Which Vamps were the most bad-ass in 2008? Here are the three Vampires in descending order of awesomeness. 

3. Edward Cullen (Twilight)

Walks in the sunlight....immediate disqualification.

2. Bill Compton (True Blood)

Stephen Moyer's portrayal of this Southern vampire is interesting for a few reasons. But here is my favorite: there is nothing flashy about it. One would assume that when you are playing an undead monster, you would get to chew some scenery and act "big." But Moyer's Bill Compton is wonderfully reserved and calm. During an early episode, his character alludes to the fact that he never has to breathe. So naturally, I acted like a dick and tried to catch him breathing in every episode I watched after that. But Moyers passes the test. In every take I have seen, his chest never moves. Just because this isn't a "flashy" role doesn't mean it is a difficult one. This 30-something Englishman is playing a nearly 200-year old creature who ever breathes and has a Southern accent. And for the most part, Moyers has me believe that what I am seeing on screen is in fact, a 200-year old creature who never breathes and has a Southern accent. 

1. Eli (Let the Right One In)

Bill Compton is cool and I like Stephen Moyers' portrayal of him, but this undead honey from Let the Right One In is my favorite. I wrote this in my "At the Athena" review of the movie for Backdrop:

Eli, is just as fascinating. Sensual, scary and sweet, Lina Leandersson creates one of this year’s best characters. Rarely have I seen such a masterful display of vulnerability and confidence in

one body. It is a paradoxical and wonderful feat of acting...

That was about two months ago and I still feel the same way. Eli is a centuries old, androgynous killing machine....and it is impossible to not fall in love with her. 2008 was an excellent year for movies and there are many images that stick out in my mind but my absolute favorite might be Eli meekly vomiting in the Swedish cold after attempting to force down some candy from her human buddy, Oskar. Let the Right One In is one of the best movies of 2008 and Eli is the best Vampire of 2008.

Well, that's the first installment of Mailing it In Week. I hope you found it as incomplete and unsatisfying as I did.

Time to study for VICO 140!

Sunday Morning Links pt. 25

I should be studying right now.

As a matter of fact, I should be studying all this week. Unlike last quarter, when none of my Finals were comprehensive and none of my finals were particularly difficult, all my finals this quarter are comprehensive and all of them will be very, very difficult.

So keep in mind, that this week there may not be much new material. There will still be a new post on the usual days (Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday) but I can't necessarily promise that they will either be a) good or b) new. And by not "new" I just mean that they will probably look like this old post.

Be patient, Internet, this is one of those weeks. Athens knows what I am talking about.

Here are the Links.

- Jesus Christ, Anne Coulter even yells when she's typing.

- My dad sent me this via e-mail and wanted my take on it. So here's my take: it's good stuff, go read it.

- I have an objection to the L.A Times calling the late 90s/early 00s era of Saturday Night Live the "Jimmy Fallon" era, but it is interesting to see where everyone ended up, nonetheless.

- This may have been the hardest I laughed all last week. Read it out loud to your friends (if you have any) and just giggle like idiots.

- And finally, Mainstream America embraces Generation Snuggie.

That's all for this week. Good luck with Finals, everyone!

....There Was Only One

When Jim Cramer first stepped out onto The Daily Show set and Jim and Jon exchanged their pleasantries, I was worried that this would be a quiet, respectful meeting of two quiet, respectful men. 

I guess my worries were unfounded.

Holy crap, that might have been the most uncomfortable ten minutes of television since, well...

The results of the bout are in: EW, Variety, MSN and the decision is unanimous. Jon Stewart didn't just defeat Jim Cramer...he disemboweled him. It is funny that I should run that Crossfire clip in this blog. That was the last time Jon Stewart made it his personal mission to demolish a television program. And I don't know if you have noticed but Crossfire doesn't exist anymore.

I am going to go out on a limb and say that pretty soon Mad Money with Jim Cramer will not exist as well. I do not understand any of the technical aspects of what they were talking about. I am inclined to believe Jon Stewart a little more because I have "known" him longer but to be fair, with my tiny economical knowledge there is no way to tell if this was a fair debate. 

But as a life-long consumer of the American media I can reasonably conclude that Jim Cramer's career is over. And he knew it even before he stepped out onto the stage. He looked like a death row inmate walking to the chair, and he spoke softly, sparsely and carefully. If you need more proof that Cramer knew he was toast, just check out the actual transcript of every thing he said during the second half of this "interview." What he actually said is in black, while what he really meant is in red.

"I think that there are two kinds of people. People who come out and made good calls and bad calls and they are professionals. And people who make good calls and bad calls and say they make only good calls and they are liars. I try to make as many good calls as I can."

"Please just pretend to buy this bullshit and let's move on."

"This is a hyperbolic sample....something called short-selling. It's not something I did but...this is the type of shenanigans."

"Fuck, you got me."

"I am trying to expose this stuff. Exactly what you guys do. And I'm trying to get the regulators to look at it."

"I need to identify myself with you since America clearly likes you way more than me."

"OK... The regulators watch the tape, they can catch these shenanigans. It's a shame Madoff didn't get caught OK...OK...My first reaction is: we could absolutely do better. I can do a better job. I have been working with members of Congress on the uptick rule...I'm trying, I'm trying...I aint succeeding, I'm trying."

"Please spare my life."

"How bout if I try it. Try doing that. I'll try doing that."

*in-between heaving sobs* "PLEEEEEASE, STOP TORTURING ME!"

"I've had a lot of CEOs lie to me on the show. I don't have subpoena power....It's your show for heaven's-sake!"

"STOP WITH THE CLIPS, I AM HALF-WAY DEAD ALREADY!"

"Don't you want guys like me, who have been in it, to show the shenanigans? What else can I do?"

"I am making my last stand, right here, right now."

*seven minutes later*

"I wish I had done a better job. I was late in saying it was bad."

"Why hath you wrought this on me, Stewart? I am but a man. I cannot endure this brand of thrashing . You hath ruined me, stripped me down. I will never find a job in television ever again. I rue the day I ever crossed you. And thus, I die, right now, right here in this studio, before you, the audience and God, himself, I die. Goodbye,World. Goodbye, Grover's Corners, Goodbye Sycamore Tree. I wish I had appreciated you all when I was alive. But now I shake loose this mortal coil and leave the soul the the determination of the fates. May God have Mercy on my soul and may the winds guide me towards the heavens before the shackles weigh me down and the fires consume me. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye and having said my piece, I now die" 

*falls of chair with "X"s for eyes and his tongue hanging out of his mouth*

And Jon Stewart goes back to "telling fart jokes for a living."

What a night of television, folks, what a night.

There Can Only Be One!

I don't know if you could tell but I have been interested in the future lately. 

And this week was like a sweet, sweet drug to my deviant mind. First, President Obama announces that stem cell research is a-okay. Then NASA sent the Kepler probe to the unexplored reaches of the Universe to look for Earth-like planets.

Now, humanity may be looking at the biggest moment of its history right in the eye.

Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer will finally settle their centuries old conflict in an awe-inspiring fight to the death. Okay, okay. It may not be humanity's defining moment, they have only been "feuding" for less than a week and "fight to the death" translates roughly to "chat."

Nontheless, tonight at 11 is the moment that we have all been waiting literally days for. I for one can't wait. And in the interest of stoking the flames, I will present you with the documents of the long-storied history of this conflict.

Whoever wins, this much is sure: the world will never be the same.

Stepping up onto the Dope Box

You have probably heard by now, but Barack Obama essentially legalized stem cell research on Monday. 

I know this is two-day-old news. But play along with me like this is the first time you are reading it. There are obvious political and moral implications to this decision and it can be (and probably has been) dissected from a million different angles. I want to take a moment to look at this decision in its most basic form.

It is a decision and our President actually made it.

Duh. Before you think  I have brain damage or that I am dictating this post to a semi-intelligent African Macaw let me explain a little more. I have only been alive for 18 and have only been politically-conscious for about 5 1/2 of those years. It just so happens that my only previous model of what a Presidency looks like is George W. Bush. That was a fairly conservative Presidency, and understandably so, and I am fairly unfamiliar with any one actually sticking their neck on the line and making a definitive decision on a controversial subject.

I have no strong feelings either way on the stem cell issue. I happen to believe that cells, fertilized or not, do not constitute life and have no problem using them to improve the lives of others. But I can see why some people would feel differently and understand that there is a fundamental difference there. So President Obama's decision really doesn't effect me one iota.

It does, however, open the door for decisive action on one of the issues I actually do care about. I try to stay in the dead center of every single political issue or question that our generation has to face. I do not seek conflict and like to see all the sides on every issue. There are only two issues that I actually feel strongly about and will pursue a change of U.S policy in. These issues are equal rights for homosexuals and legalization of marijuana.

It is kind of strange because neither of these issues effect me. I am not gay and to the best of my knowledge, do not have any close friends or family who are gay. I also do not smoke marijuana, or even drink, smoke tobacco or take anything heavier than aspirin for that matter. But those are the only two issues in which I cannot really understand the other side of the argument. 

Gay rights currently looks to be on the ropes with the passing of Proposition 8 in California but a reform of marijuana laws seemed to be a faint possibility for the Obama administration. After all, this is the man who tried it AND inhaled for good measure. Personally, I had my doubts if only because the only Presidency I had ever known was the inactive Bush administration. But if President Obama has the stones to legalize stem cell research, can't he also find the courage to reform marijuana laws.

I would like to do my part right now in trying to convince the President (I am sure he is a regular reader of my blog). I believe myself to be fairly articulate and can be quite chatty at times. But in the case of this issue, I do not have to do anything other than present the facts and statistics. So here they are. I found most of them when I did research for my COMS 103 speech on the same subject and they are presented without any of my additional analysis, thoughts or b.s.

- Alcohol kills close to 150,000 people a year, excluding alcohol-related accidents. (Family Council on Drug Awareness)

- Tobacco kills 350,000 people a year (FCDA)

- Aspirin kills 200 people a year (FCDA)

- Marijuana kills 0.

- Alcohol, Tobacco and Aspirin are legal

- Marijuana isn't.

- As far as human history goes back, no human being has ever been killed by consuming marijuana to excess. A Judge named Francis Young even did extensive research on the drug in 1988 and concluded that it "is safer than many of the foods we commonly consume."

- Alcohol is nearly twice as addictive as marijuana (Time Magazine article)

- 786,000 Americans were arrested in 2005 for using marijuana (National Organization for Reforming Marijuana Laws)

I just think it is obvious. But that's just me. I am going to step off of my soap box now. I hope Barack Obama will step right back on.

The Movie Gods Declare that March Shall Continue to be Boring

I know it is unfair, and irrational and probably even foolish but at $55 million in its Opening Weekend, I am going to declare the film adaptation of Watchmen a failure.

It isn't a failure for everyone. Warner Brothers certainly won't call it a failure, Zack Snyder won't call it a failure, Alan Moore (if he is even cognizant of the fact that a Watchmen movie was released this weekend) wouldn't call it a failure. Hell, I don't even think it was a failure. I enjoyed it quite a bit. But as far as the month of March is concerned, and as far as Watchmen's own hype is concerned, it was a failure.

Read the James Berardinelli piece I linked to on Friday (seriously READ it). In it, he says a big opening for Watchmen would cement March's status as a good box-office month. Well, Watchmen DID open up at #1 at the Box Office and DID open to $55 million. But is $55 million enough?

In short: no.

As long as I am linking to articles by superior writers...check out what Box Office Mojo has to say about Watchmen's opening. Warner Brother's spent about as much money promoting the film as it took to make it and made sure it opened in more theaters than any R-rated movie ever. And yet, Watchmen had only the 6th highest opening for an R-rated movie behind "juggernauts" such as The Matrix Reloaded and Hannibal. 

Having the 6th highest grossing weekend for an R-rated movie would be awesome for most films. If I made an R-rated movie and it grossed $55 million in its Opening weekend, I would be thrilled. But this is Watchmen we are talking about...WATCHMEN. This is the movie based on a graphic novel that is considered to be the Moby Dick/Citizen Kane/M*A*S*H/Hamlet of all graphic novels. And if something is considered the best a medium has to offer, it should reasonably be the highest grosser. But Watchmen failed at that even as its opening weekend falls at 12th(!) all time for comic book movie openings (behind Fantastic Four for Christ'ssake!)

I don't know who is at fault and I don't particularly care. Film Threat theorizes that the marketing campaign was a little too run-of-the-mill Comic book movie-ish for a story of this pedigree, but I am hard-pressed to find fault with a campaign that got me so personally excited for the film. Whatever the case may be I am personally disappointed by the Box Office results of Watchmen and I think Warner Brothers secretly is as well.

As for my take on the movie, itself, I really enjoyed it. I feel bad for anyone going into this movie expecting a brisk 90 minute story about superheroes fighting bad guys because that is so not what this movie is. But for anyone who read the graphic novel or did a little research, this film had to be quite an interesting experience. Most critics seem to find fault with how closely the movie resembles the graphic novel but I don't think that took away from the experience at all. Contrary to Alan Moore's previous assertions, I believe that Watchmen, the book, was very cinematic and the wisest choice of adaptation for the big screen was loyalty and faithfulness to the material. I was not that big of a fan of 300, but I have to give Zack Snyder his due on this one. Watchmen is a very good movie, and for a select group of fans who have waited 23 years to see it, it was probably even a life-affirming one.

Finally, I would like to welcome Jackie Earle Haley to the comic book movie acting Hall of Fame. He can take a seat right in-between Hugh Jackman and Heath Ledger as far as I'm concerned.

Sunday (Sort of) Morning Links pt. 25

Well, 25 SMLs in (I have no idea if anyone really calls Sunday Morning Links "SMLs", but they should) I have finally failed at posting a new one at midnight.

I would like to take a moment to mourn the death of my punctuality.

Oh well, enough wasting time. Let's get straight to the Morni...Afternoon Links.

- Mark Zuckerberg is out and swinging!

- Looks like Conservatism is the next cool thing among today's youth. You know we're in trouble when life imitates a Stephen Glass story.

- Ring the village bell! The Mighty Scott Boras has been vanquished! Women and children are now safe.

- Now this one is magical. The Wire creator, David Simon writes (and rather angrily so) about the pussification of the American reporter.

- And finally. I hate to come down on Conservatives twice in one SML, but this is just sad. GOP CHAIRMAN Steele has to apologize to an obese, egotistical radio-clown because he told the truth about his miserable existence. If they continue to worship Rush Limbaugh, the Republicans won't hold public office again until 2056.

That's all for this rainy Sunday. Come back tomorrow for my take on Watchmen.

Go Read Other Stuff

I have quite a busy day ahead of me.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I have to spend the majority of my day working on the next draft of my Backdrop story. The first one went over fairly well, but of course there is always more to fix (I think the fact that I left out about 200 words of explanation is a bit of a problem). 

Then I must prepare my tiny cave of a room for the imminent arrival of my mother and brother. My room reeks so strongly of teenage boy (from me, not all my various male-lovers) that I think the only option is to start torching things. But don't tell my RA that I have an open-flame in my room.

Then of course, there is the fact that the weather outside is so absurdly gorgeous that it is almost comical. I am not really the outdoorsy-type. As a matter of fact, I think my this is the palest my skin has been since I was born due to my habitual shunning of the sun. But even I have to find something to do in this Pleasantville-weather. And you should go enjoy it as well.

But not before you read some things that I demand you read.

I don't know if anyone has noticed but I am now writing Athena movie reviews for Backdropmag.com (which you should have saved in your favorites and read every day).

Let the Right One In and Stranded are no longer in theaters. But The Wrestler is playing at the Athena until next week and Milk is playing this weekend at Baker center. I recommend that you see both, especially considering that one of them is FREE.

Speaking of movies, one of them is being released today that has been about 22 years in the making. Now, I am not seeing Watchmen until tomorrow so I can't say whether it was good or not. But I can link to this blog entry by James Berardinelli, which is the most insightful thing I have read about movies yet this year. Berardinelli writes that there is a lot more at stake in Watchmen opening big than Warner Brother's wallet and Zack Snyder's pride. The whole month of March is depending on a big Watchmen opening. March has long been considered a dumping ground for bad movies. But after the relative success of 300 and Cloverfield, a big opening for Watchmen could mean that movies can make money in March.

My best guess is that Watchmen makes an impressive but slightly disappointing $85 million in its opening weekend. That is more than 300 and something that Warner Brothers can be reasonably happy with, but I don't think it will prove that March is undoubtedly a month for movies.

Well, after you are done reading all that nonsense, you may go outside. But not a second before then!

Trust me, I'll know....I always do.

(Metaphorically) Around the Dial pt. 2

I must say that I am pretty sad to see the analogue TV go the way of the dinosaur.

Yes, pretty soon the analogue signal for television will be retired (hopefully, its jersey number will hang from the rafters of American culture) and the digital signal is all that will remain. I am not actually sad to see the signal go, I am just bummed that 50 years from now, grandchildren won't be able to make fun of TVs with dials on them.

So, I am doing my part to make sure the phrase "around the dial" never dies by using it to do a quick recap of all the TV shows I've been watching.

You see, I don't watch a lot of TV anymore....but I still watch plenty of TV shows. Confusing? Let me explain. I have almost entirely abandoned my TV in favor of my computer. Now that iTunes, Hulu and Network websites exist I barely even have use for a television. I can just watch the shows I want to watch online and when I want to watch them. So, instead of dedicating a blog entry to each show, I would like to condense them all down into two quick blog entries.

This is how they will be organized. Yesterday's blog focused on the shows that I deem important enough to actually watch live on television (all 2.5 of them), and today's blog focuses on the shows that I watch exclusively on the Internet.

I present to you: (Metaphorically) Around the Dial with The Collective(ly) Unconscious pt. 2.

24

I've written about 24 quite a bit lately and I couldn't figure out why. Now I think I FINALLY get what makes 24 so appealing to me. This show portrays the exact opposite mood of the country it is depicting year in and year out. I am not saying this is an inherently good or bad thing, I just think it is a strange thing. Think about the first three seasons. On 24, the President is a black Democrat while in real life the President is the Whitest Republican on the planet. On 24, the main villains are Eastern European terrorists, American oil tycoons and Rogue MI6 agents while in real life the American public can only think about the threat of Muslim extremists in a post 9/11 world. Then comes season four where in real life, Americans are starting to rethink the notion that men in turbans are bad people and are starting to question their own President's competence. So what does 24 do? Release a jingoistic season about beating down Muslim extremists while the 24 world has a strong-jawed and resolute Republican President. Now we reach Season 7. America finally has a black President. But 24 America has a female President and all the villains are African. Let me be clear: I am not accusing 24's producers of being racist or sexist in anyway, I just think it is kind of funny how they seem to miss-read the timing of all their plot lines. As a matter of fact: the only exception I can think of is Season 5 when Americans were suffering at the gas pump and no longer trusted their President and 24 crafted a plot about oil and a corrupt President. 

30 Rock

When Arrested Development was cancelled, it left a gaping hole in quality television comedy. Thankfully, 30 Rock has stepped in admirably for my dearly departed favorite show. 30 Rock isn't even close to being as good as Arrested Development, but to be fair: I am not sure anything ever will. But 30 Rock makes me laugh and consistently. And really, can I ask anything more of a comedy? The third season started strong but has since tailed off a bit. I find that the episodes Tina Fey writes herself make me laugh the most. One thing though, I am finding about 30 Rock is that it is the exact opposite of 24: it is timely. When the markets crashed, 30 Rock had an episode just a few weeks later about Tracey Morgan nearly plunging New York into economic chaos with his outlandish ideas about finances. 30 Rock has clearly benefitted from Fey's week-to-week SNL writing experience and is now the second most current show on TV behind only South Park (whenever it comes back).

The Office

Oh, The Office. This is a show I feel like I watch more out of habit than anything. Don't get me wrong: it is still a quality show and better than 99.9% of all the other comedies out there, but it doesn't make me laugh as consistently anymore. I am starting to think that Ricky Gervais was right to end his British series after only 12 episodes. Now that the American version is creeping towards 100, it is clear that the Documentary-style format is wearing thin. Look, it isn't the fault of the writers or magnificent actors (and John Krasinski doesn't have an Emmy why....?), sometimes shows just lose what makes them fresh after five or so seasons. Then again, that's what I thought about the final show on my list...

Scrubs

Let's face it, for about a two and a half season period, Scrubs SUCKED. I can only admit that now because the 8th and hopefully final season of the show has reaffirmed to me what this show can be. Scrubs will always hold a very special place in my heart as the show whose box-sets I would watch over and over and over and over and over again with my brother each summer. So now I can finally admit that Seasons 6 and 7 hurt me as though I had cheated on by my spouse. But not matter, Scrubs is back and I can point to many reasons why but there is one in particular I would like to point out. The character or Denise, played by Eliza Coupe is an absolute treasure. I would like to personally thank her for rescuing the last season of one of my favorite shows. Come to think of it....maybe this doesn't have to be the last season.

Well, those are the shows I watch on my 8'' by 11'' LCD (or whatever it's called) display. Doesn't cheapen the experience one bit. 

Says the man without access to a 60'' HD TV.

(Metaphorically) Around the Dial pt. 1

I must say that I am pretty sad to see the analogue TV go the way of the dinosaur.

Yes, pretty soon the analogue signal for television will be retired (hopefully, its jersey number will hang from the rafters of American culture) and the digital signal is all that will remain. I am not actually sad to see the signal go, I am just bummed that 50 years from now, grandchildren won't be able to make fun of TVs with dials on them.

So, I am doing my part to make sure the phrase "around the dial" never dies by using it to do a quick recap of all the TV shows I've been watching. 

You see, I don't watch a lot of TV anymore....but I still watch plenty of TV shows. Confusing? Let me explain. I have almost entirely abandoned my TV in favor of my computer. Now that iTunes, Hulu and Network websites exist I barely even have use for a television. I can just watch the shows I want to watch online and when I want to watch them. So, instead of dedicating a blog entry to each show, I would like to condense them all down into two quick blog entries.

This is how they will be organized. Today's blog will focus on the shows that I deem important enough to actually watch live on television (all 2.5 of them), and tomorrow's blog will focus on the shows that I watch exclusively on the Internet.

I present to you: (Metaphorically) Around the Dial with The Collective(ly) Unconscious.

Lost

Lost has been the best show on television for some time and it is only getting better. If you have never seen it, I am not writing this to convince you to watch it because let's face it: it's just too late at this point. But we are reaching the point of the show where we can count down the number of episodes to go. It is 27 episodes left and counting. The creators can now stop shuffling their feet and start wrapping up story-lines the way they have presumably always wanted to. Season 5 of Lost has been so good that it actually makes me rethink the quality of previous seasons. Season 2's plot line about Mr. Eko and Season 3's plot line about Ben's tumor seemed cool at the time, but now that I now what the story can truly look like, those plot lines seem like a waste of time. I can talk for hours about what makes this show so excellent but there are dozens of other blogs out there at lostpedia.org and Jeff Jensen's TV Watch.

I will say, however that episodes 6 and 7, "316" and "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham" were the perfect example of what makes this show great. Two deceptively simple stories about two men. Jack has always been a Man of Science, but now must face the possibility that the impossible exists. And Locke has always been a Man of Faith, but now must face the possibility that Faith is not enough and he has lost true love in the never-ending quest to discover meaning. And if that's not enough, there was still that badass fight sequence in which Sayid killed a guy with an open dishwasher.

The Daily Show/The Colbert Report

I was truly worried that the two Honest Harlequins would lose their "mojo" when one of the best actual Harlequins ever left office. As it turns out, I had absolutely nothing to worry about. The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have been absolute must-watch TV. Stewart has gone as far as comparing America's new Golden Boy, Barack Obama's speeches to George W. Bush. I believe having two entertainers who aren't afraid to make fun of someone regardless of ideology, race, sex, or political party is an essential part of our generation's Democracy.

That's all for now. Watch Lost, Daily Show and Colbert Report tonight and come back tomorrow to see what I watch exclusively online. 

Heeeeeeeey Maaaaaan....

Yes, what you are looking at is the Wikipedia entry for...Wikipedia.

Just take a moment to let that sink in. Maybe you have actually been a jackass like me and have looked this up before, or maybe this is the first time you are seeing this phenomenon. Either way, I would like you to take a moment to reflect on the mind-bending, self-aware, bizarre spectacle that is Wikipedia.

The sub-header of my blog reads something like "examining the media in the United States" (forgive me, but I don't feel like opening a new tab to quote it exactly). But I have found that I have taken my blog in a bit of a direction. Essentially, these 120-something blog entries of mine have become increasingly reverent towards my generation. I have to imagine that most of the entries read something like "Heeeeeeeey maaaaan, isn't it weird that INSERT-RANDOM-TECHNOLOGY-HERE exists?" You can choose whatever inflection to read that sentence with. "Pothead" works well, "British" doesn't. 

Well, I just can't help it. Today is another one of those "Heeeeeeeey maaaaan" posts.

So.....isn't it weird that Wikipedia exists?

I mean, really. In Public Speaking, we were doing Persuasive Speeches and as such, had to pick a "cause" to support. People chose things like the Red Cross, American Cancer Society and NAMBLA (one of these is made-up). One dude, however, went in a different direction. He chose Wikipedia.

Immediately, he had won in my book. I didn't even need to hear the speech. I would give all my worldly possessions to Wikipedia, I would join the Wikipedia Army against injustice, I would give my first-born to Wikipedia. And I am being serious (sort of). 

Back in 6th grade Social Studies, our teacher Mrs. Foscnight (holy crap, I have NO idea how to spell that) listed all the problems in the world: starvation in Africa, overpopulation in Asia, douche-baggery in Europe and then had us guess what would fix all of them. Being kids, we guessed stupid things like: more money, strong leaders, more money, better laws and more money. But Mrs. Focsnight wasn't having it. She said the solution to most of the world's problems was education.

So now we have a tool that grants immediate access of the sum of all human knowledge to anyone in the blink of an eye.

Whoa.

Looks like we have no more excuses. World, go fix thyself.

Sunday Morning Links pt. 24

Man, what a wild sports week for me.

I had the first Indians' Spring Training game, two home-runs from Victor Martinez, the Browns trading Kellen Winslow, Matt Cassell becoming a Chief and finally the Ohio Bobcat smackdown on the Miami Redhawks, which is the best collegiate sporting event I have ever been to.

But you're not here for sports, you are just here for some links (you fickle bitch).

So, please enjoy while I spend my Sunday working on an Astronomy paper.

- Keeping with my initial sports motif....here are two different basketball stories from Bill Simmons this week. I know I link to Simmons way too often but what am I supposed to do? He's the best. Not linking his articles would be like linking to something other than Macbeth in the 1500s, just because I was sick of linking Shakespeare. Story One. Story Two.

- It is high time I linked to these guys. SNL Digital Shorts have been the best thing on Saturday Night Live in years and with The Lonely Island's release of their first CD Incredibad, I figured I should finally link to their website which has brought many a chuckle in my time.

- Score one for common sense. I can't believe Bureaucracy finally did something rational!

- Apparently, Slumdog Millionaire wasn't an accurate representation of India's slums. I think Newsweek might be missing the whole point of underdog tales...

- And finally, to book-end this Sports Sunday, here is a rather interesting FoxSports piece about the NFL testing the character of potential draftees. 

That's all for this week. Here is to the Indians going undefeated through the rest of Spring Training!